St. John's

So after a summer of toiling for a job (a total of two months of unemployment), I got a job at Cracker Barrel-- fondly called "crack-a bare-o"... it's been an honest trial knowing that God put me in this position for a season and reason.

But a position at St. John's has finally come through... a patient service rep.

I keep telling myself that great things come from humble beginnings.

It's a start. It may be my ticket in... social work. health insurance. a future.

It's not that I've stopped thinking about St. Kate's... that's still in the distant future.

summer

i tried to sell my plasma today.

it's the second unsucessful attempt (out of three).. i think it's a sign that i shouldn't donate.

but i need the money.

it's not all that bad.

i knit whilst waiting...



i would say that the whole graduating thing hasn't kicked in yet.

interview tomorrow

so it's been a while since i last wrote.

i just got the call today.

the call to interview at cox.

for the social work position.



last week, i applied to 20 places....

today, i thought of going to MSU to get the MSW... a call which i still haven't gotten back yet.

but today, i got the call.

the call that i had been waiting almost two months for.



all this time, i had been unemployed :(

here's my chance:

pray.

screaming drugs

i heard a blood curdling scream today. it was the cry of a man in pain. he had a brain injury as a result of a motor vehicle accident. this man, who was described as docile by his mother, was unconsciously injuring staff members by trying to break their arms and screaming sexual obscenities.

i don't know how much of it is pain and how much of it is his injury. but i was scared of this man.

i forgot to mention that i told his wife he was still on drugs.

hearing her cry on the phone was very hard for me... and so emotionally draining.

the poor guy's family fell apart because of his poor choices.

i pray my husband never goes down that path.

pic of meth mouth.

don't do it.

11 days from graduation

i'm sitting in research class and we're talking about the will of God.

the will of God.

what is the will of God?

does God have a will?

hm..

what is God's will for my life? can His will even be defined?

Prof Qualls says that God is more interested in our relationship with him rather than the things that we do in our lives.

I do think that the things we do can dictate the relationship that we have with God.



I have no idea what I am going to be doing with my life.

I've applied to St. John's, but they haven't gotten back to me yet.






I woke up in love with Jesus today. it was a great feeling

it was a good day.

chapel policy

so there's a promise of a repeal of some chapel policy that states that no more than 40 percent of chapel attendance can come from alternate chapels.

some campaign promise.

seriously, people. what's so hard about hauling your butt to sit in a semi-comfortable chair and listen to a little word from God? people in third world countries risk their life to travel to prayer meetings and services. instead, we sleep in. we do homework. we sleep or text in chapel.

i am not gonna lie. i am guilty of some of these infractions.

we've got it so easy... the word is brought to us. but why must we complain that we are being spoon-fed unwillingly? why does the chapel speaker fail to reach us?

we're selfish. we're spoiled. we want something real.

but how real are we willing to be?

obviously not real enough to practice the spiritual discipline of worship. how many of us actually pray and do devos every day? when was the last time you prayed?

thoughts

i'm listening to a sermon series on song of songs. it's pretty good.

five reasons for sex:
pleasure
children
one-ness/togetherness
comfort
protection (heh?... protection from temptation of sin)

i'll be going to virginia at the end of the week. i'm pretty excited about that.

i'm halfway through the final semester at EU. i can't believe it's all gone by...

praise God.

et retreat

i am at the ET retreat... and it's been wonderful. although i'm working on homework and operating on two cups of coffee, meds for allergies, and a multivitamin (i'm wired)... i feel wonderful.

i hope to get a job at St. John's. please pray for that.

jason patterson spoke last night.. i'm just so excited to see what God is doing in my heart... i see His phenomenal works in my life and my heart... how he has healed my broken and wearied spirit.

i'm beginning to see what a beautiful thing it is to just be still before God.

:)

i don't know where God is leading me in this next chapter, but I have confidence that it will all work out.

oh yah, i got a speeding ticket yesterday. 12 miles over. i think i'm not gonna contest it and just pay the fine. *sigh... at least i am not on my parent's insurance anymore... but that still sucks.


it's time to grow up.

part of me doesn't want to, but part of me can't wait for the next chapter of my life.

hunger banquet

we were supposed to have a hunger banquet tonight.

i was hungry.

i was cold.

i don't know how homeless people could stand to be outside during this time.

questioning faith in medicine

working at st. john's has caused me to question where my faith is. is it in God who can divinely heal? or is it in medicine that can provide palliative efforts toward rehabilitation?

i don't know.

but i love practicum-ing at the hospital despite witnessing people puke and yell at me.... :/ it's a place i feel comfortable.

i'm staying in springfield.

i've decided that.



i think i should pray and fast about that.

and fast about what my living situation is going to be.

*sigh

God is good!!

:D

i want to go on a missions trip.

i've never been on one before. i've never been out of the country (canada doesn't count)

there are so many things on my mind