infatuated

i'm infatuated.

in-FAT-u-ate-d

yeah... haha

no really. i struggle with the difference between love, lust, and infatuation. yeah, i think it's more so infatuation.
but i don't really think it's even that.

maybe it's just appreciation.

fascination?

haha..

what do I feel for God? what does He feel for me?

Don't let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, "life is not pleasant anymore."
-ecc 12:1

God has seriously wrapped his arms around my broken heart in the past several weeks... He has enraptured me.... :D For a while, I forgot him... and life became unpleasant :(

hormones.
midterms.
depression.
angst.
michael.
resolution.

It's weird to say Michael's death brought resolution. I have his pic on my desk and remember to pray for his family... I've never had any deeply rooted romantic feelings for him. I have always respected the man that he was and the passion he had...

I would've liked to marry a man like him. I still do.

Oh, how I wish he was here again. I wish I could see him in my dreams and tell him that I miss him... I wish I could tell him that I finally found a girl right for him (which I still have yet to find... haha) I wish to hug him again. He gave good hugs :)... esp coming from a family of seven boys and one girl ;)

it's been almost a month since he died. i still miss him.