breakdown

i didn't think the source of stress this summer would be so great. i started off w/ the mindset that i'm only here for a season and that i'll be back w/ my friends in no time.

i had a breakdown today. not a major one, but one anyway. i'm tired of work. it has been the source of many nightmares i've been having in the last several weeks. in these fiendish dreams, i am losing control of my temper and hitting and screaming or someone is losing their control. it's not completely horrific to the average dreamer, but it is to me.

the thing is i've been having more dreams that i can recall in the last few weeks than i've had in the last several years alone.

i don't know really if work is the source of these dreams, or if it's something else... really something else. whatever it is isn't of God. why would God give me these dreams??

i want to be with my friends again. i'm feeling strangely detached from everyone here.

maybe once i get away from here, the nightmares will stop.





they did last time.