**sigh***

so i was woken up around 7am this morning by my manager, wondering if i could come in and work another double.

i worked one yesterday.

i said yes, but came in later to sleep a little more. i came into work w/ wrinkles from my blanket still imbedded in my arm (how embarrassing, right?... a sure sign of exhaustion!) the first shift wasn't so bad, but i was still really tired. right before i took my break, there was a rush of customers that came in, which pushed back my break. i don't like it when it gets too hectic... cuz that's when customers only leave $1 versus $3 or $5... i know i'm being selfish in thinking this, but i give better service and get better money when i can focus on 4 tables versus 7. i think leaving $1 for poor service is more rude than leaving nothing... but at least their leaving a dollar right? i dunno. i'd rather them leave nothing. keep their bitter dollar, i say.

there are some people that seriously don't know how to tip. and i think that's really rude. i try to give really good service-- even to these people. they think $2 for $60 worth of food is a great tip. maybe i'm just bitter. in school, when i'd get bitter, i'd name myself mara (like from the book of Ruth when Naomi named herself Mara). i feel like a mara today.

today, i also lost my patience with a co-worker. it's been an ongoing thing that my patience was teetering... i was three tables ahead of her in the rotation of who gets a table (meaning that i was really busy while she wasn't) and she had the audacity to stand around and keep giving me tables and when i had to cash out a customer, she clearly cut in front of me and tried to cash out her own customer's check. in front of my customer (who was a regular), i got fed up and told her in front of the customer that it was clearly wrong that she came in front of me and attempted to cash out her own check. i told her it was a sign of selfishness and rudeness-- in front of the customer. i'm not proud of what i did (i mean, i didn't swear, but i did raise my voice), but i had to get my point across b/c she was clearly being rude to the customer who was right there. it wasn't the first time it has occurred and i just... i don't know what to do. i've talked to the managers about her in other incidents and i just don't want to work with her. but a little voice in back of my head keeps telling me that i was once where she was (but Lord..., i'm not that rude). i need to think past what other people are saying about her and what i'm thinking about her. i keep thinking to myself, "this too shall pass." this season of working will pass... i mean, it's just about 50 days til i leave, right? anyway, the same customer came back again tonight and i apologized profusely for the sight that he saw. he chuckled and assured me it was alright. still, i dunno how to handle this person. it's just difficult to work w/ her b/c she won't own up to all the mistakes she makes and the people working w/ her have to carry the blame, making it hard to work through. the cooks lost patience with me when i made a mistake b/c she had made so many... it's just really difficult working w/ her and working with everyone when she's working. it's like walking on eggshells.

i know work has been the subject of much of my blogs as of late... that's just what my hours have been immersed in... so have my energies and thoughts... **sigh.

one of my favorite co-workers, Auntie Naomi, is going for surgery at the end of the month. she's gonna get a bone fusion on her cervical spine because there are bone spurs impinging on her nerves that are affecting sensations in her arms. it saddens me that she's gonna be out of commission for a while because she's a large part of the reason i went back to that store. she looks out for me for the most part, and i write to her while i'm in MO. when i drive to work and get off late, she has me call her when i get home to make sure i get home safely. i like her despite her crude comments every now and then (she keeps them to a minimum for the most part). i consider her family. i'll probably be working for her every now and then. work won't be the same without her.

i just found out that one of my friends got a divorce. that's painful. i think he's been married for 3 months or something. even though it was a short time of marriage, it just seems like, i dunno... i know he's hurting big time. i just feel sore for him, ya know? divorce is something i wish wouldn't happen (but it's sometimes necessary, right?) i don't believe that God created separation and divorce.

it brings me to people wondering why God would let bad things happen like that. i don't believe God is the one that allows it to happen. He gives us free will. PEOPLE make it happen. Oftentimes, we blame God for the bad things that happen in the world. People ask God where He was when natural disasters happened. i believe that when people ask that, God asks... "well, what are YOU doing about it? I made you, didn't I? What are YOU gonna do about it??" it kind of makes me laugh (in an ironic sense)

take me away... i've got nothing left to say...just take me away... - lifehouse

i've recently started listening to edwin mccain on pandora. he's neat-o. i like his song, good times...

i'm looking foward to the good times ahead. let those good times roll to soothe the soul!